Why Not and How Come....

Lately it feels as if my husband and I are having the same conversations over and over with our 12 year old son. My sweet precious twelve year old son has informed us that we  are the most overprotective parents that exist and that everyone else in his world  is or has ... (you can fill in the blank) I am sure that there are  parents who deserve the title of  overprotective more than Getano and I  but, we will  gladly except the title and proudly wear the crown .  We can not be the only parents having these converstaions....Are we???

Our Top Conversation Lately...

1. Son- why can't I have an iPhone/or any cell phone for that matter?

  Parents- Because...

• we love you
• you do not need a cell phone. You are usually with us and do not need a phone to call us  
• when you are not with us, we have left you with an adult whom we trust and are confident that they will let you use their phone in the case of an emergency. 
• Cell phones cost money and you do not have any money.

2.  Son- How come you have set my iPod with all theses restrictions and I don't know pass code?

 Parents- Because...

•  we love you, 
• we know that you do not need the pass code.
•  not knowing the pass code protects you from things on the Internet that  you do not need access to. 

3. Son- Why can't I text anyone on my iPod...

Parents- Because...

• we love you
• at 12 years old you are still learning the art of conversation. That is a very important skill to have in life.
• face to face communication is very important.
• and... by the way you are welcome to text Daddy or me at anytime. :)

4. Son-  Why can't  I have a facebook , instagram, or twitter account...

Parents-Because...

• we love you
• most of these social media sites require that you are 13 years old, you are not 13.
• at twelve you need to make real life friendships 
• to protect you from social media "friends" that are really not your friend

5. Son- Why won't you buy me some BEAT headphones?

Parents- Because...

• we love you
• We are not spending $200.00- $300.00 on headphones
• if it is something you want bad enough you should figure out how to work for it and save your money for it... You will appreciate it more and take better care of it if it is purchased with your hard earned money.
• we love talking with you... and really think that we have many valuable things to share with you about life... and we would lose some of those opportunities if  you were always wearing BEAT headphones over your  ears. 
• we would not want you walking  around constantly with them  on your head instead of interacting with those around you.... at twelve you are still learning how to speak to others and carry on conversations. That is hard to do when your ears are always covered up. 

6. Son- Why do y'all have to be so overprotective????

Parents- Because...

• we love you more than life itself.
• you are the only Zachary Wayne we have and it is our job to protect you.
• we are trying to teach you that -with privileges come responsibility. 
• ultimately you belong to God... and He has entrusted us to love you, teach you and protect you for a season and we want to be a good steward of the precious gift that we have been given.
• you are worth protecting

These have been our top 6 converstaions lately and we have not tried the old true and tried response of..."Because we are the parents and we said so".... yet. :)

   

Little Sisters

We are almost finished with our home addition...  Caroline's  Room.  She has shared a room with her little sister for 9 years and  10 months, almost a decade, but who is counting.☺  She has been most patient and has endured a decade of her little sister in her space, in her stuff, and quiet frankly in her way! ☺ (Pics of Caroline's Room soon to come)
   

Little Sisters  ...    this is one subject that I am somewhat of an expert on. I had three and lived to write about it. ☺ At the age of 15 they can seem annoying and pesky. It is as if their sole reason for existence is to make your life miserable!

Kristy and Me

   When I was 15 it was hard to see past the annoyance of that moment with little sisters. I did not think about the fact  that those little sisters would not live with me forever! In fact I didn't even think about the fact  that one day they may not even live in the same city as I did. They do not stay pesky and annoying forever ... and much to my surprise those  pesky  sisters turn out to be your truest friends in life.

 

Kristy, Rebecca, and Me

I  lived through the pesky little sister phase and I can tell you that the true friend phase  outlasts  the pesky phase by many years! (Hang in there, good years are on the way!!)

 When you are going through a valley in life, that once little sister will grab your hand and walk right through that valley with you. She will never let go of your hand even when you demand that she does! She will constantly remind you that you will make it... and don't even think about saying you are going to quit.  That little sister will not hear of it. 

 When you have to  face a giant in life (and believe me, during a lifetime you may have to face some pretty scary and intimidating ones) that little sister will stand right beside you. Together you will be a force to  be reckoned with!  (I pity the giant that has to face any of my "little" sisters) 

Kristy, Katy, Rebecca, and Me

It is so ironic how the little sister who you would have done anything long ago to just get rid of, you now can not imagine your life with out her. Life is funny like that. I have learned that little sisters are like the most valuable things in life...

they get more valuable with age

So, as Caroline gets ready to move just down the hall from her little sister, I know that I will  continue to hear her reading books to and sharing her big sister wisdom with her little sister...Then loving the fact that she can send her off to her own room. ☺

Thankful that I get a front row seat to watch  this beautiful sister friendship grow.

Caroline and Annie-Lauren

 

Caroline  and  Annie-Lauren

 

 

 

 

It is your birthday. 40 today...

Today is your birthday.  I have had the amazing privilege of  celebrating  20 birthdays with you.  I have written this before and I think it often... You are the best gift I have ever received. You are the far better and wiser half of us...

 

Happy Birthday,Getano! 

Getano, your life touches so many others even in the simplest of ways that you are unaware of...
The other day  I walked into a local hardware store to pick something up for you. You had called in the order and told the salesman that you  would be sending someone to pick it up. The salesman had no idea that you were sending me. While I was  waiting for the items ,he and I began a conversation. It was then that the salesman realized who I was... He looked directly at me and said,

"Congratulations! You are married to the kindest man I have ever met."

I politely thanked him and agreed with him 100%. I then noticed that Zachary, who was standing next to me, looked as if  he had  grown 3 inches in that one second and was pushing out his chest. ☺ To say that he was proud of his daddy  at that moment would be an understatement.  A lesson was learned that day by your son... because of the way you live your  ordinary everyday life in the local hardware store.

Happy Birthday, Getano! You are such a priceless, precious treasure.  Your life teaches us everyday!!! 

When I think of you, I often think of how your life has been the living and breathing words of  1 Corinthians 13...

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 

• You are patient... you never give up on others. You patiently wait. Always waiting and praying for them to see what their Heavenly Father and you see in them. You have patiently waited for God to change my heart about so many things so many times... Never forcing your way.

• You are kind...  a kinder man I have not met and neither has the salesman at the hardware store. ☺
• You do not envy...    You rejoice with others. In twenty years I can honestly say I have not seen you have a jealous moment.

• You are not boastful or prideful ...  A more humble man I do not know -I love how your teach our children that life and their talents are gifts. Gifts from their Heavenly Father. Reminding them daily that the only correct attitude is one of thankfulness and gratitude, not pride.           
•                                                  
• You do not dishonor others and you are never self-seeking-    You have a servant's heart, always willing to serve others. You always show the utmost respect for others, and you never have the attitude of "What is in it for me?"

• You are not easily angered and you keep no records of wrongs-  You definitely are not easily angered  and you keep no record of wrongs !   You forgive and you forgive and you forgive....  You have been such an example to me over the past 20 years of forgiveness... Always telling me these words-" Lisa, I have been forgiven so much. How can I withhold from anyone a gift that I have been given undeservedly so many times. "                                                                                    

• You do not delight in evil and you always rejoice with truth-  You are not a man that  delights over evil, injury, destruction , or anynything that may cause  suffering for  others.  You always rejoice in truth... Knowing that it is truth that transforms lives.

•  You always protect, always trust, always hope and you always persevere.- You are a protector, you are trustworthy, and you never give up hope. You persevere in all things. You never quit!

Love never fails

Happy Birthday, Getano! Thank you for being a living and breathing definition of what love is, not only for me, but for our children... I love you and pray for many more birthdays with you...

                
 

Living Libraries

I spent this past Father's Day with my father, husband, and daughters at a baseball tournament watching my son play baseball.  My dad  has been to many other baseball tournaments and has sat along side me, yelled, and cheered with me, but this day  I was even  more thankful than I have been at other times.

Daddy and Me

As we were sitting there in the heat watching the game, I was listening as daddy shared his thoughts with me about the game, what he would do if he was coaching, and how his grandson was the best. ☻ I realized what a blessing it was to have daddy there with me on Father's Day. I have many friends whose fathers are no longer with them...and I know that they would love to have just one more day with them.

I am thankful for the connection.... thankful that my children get know this man! To hear his stories about what life was like when he was young, about his dreams, about his dreams for each of them, and about his God, and God's faithfulness. I am thankful that they get to know the farmer who raised me. Thankful that he gets to know each of my children.

Wayne Isaac age 65 and Zachary Wayne age 11

Daddy's 65th birthday- Zachary, Annie-Lauren, and Caroline

This Father's Day reminded me of the old African proverb

"When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground."

  

There is a wealth of knowledge, encouragement, and life lessons that we can learn from our parents... so much our children can learn from their grandparents.

 Lives lived, mistakes made, glorious successes, and heartbreaking losses.

Libraries filled with wisdom to share with this generation and generations to come if we are wise enough to slow down and listen.

I hope and pray that my children are never too busy or uninterested to take the time to learn from these treasures, these living libraries that they have been given for a precious amount of time.  I hope that they know and come to cherish these relationships.   Like me, I know that as they grow older, they will understand how precious these relationships really are.  

Honoring Mama

The older I get and the older my children get, the more I
appreciate my mama!   I appreciate and understand the profound responsiblity of the title "Mama" more with each passing year.

I came across  a tribute to mothers  written by Ann Voskamp, the author of one of my most favorite books, One Thousand Gifts ~ A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are.  If you have not read it I highly recommend it! ☺

I could have never said it better... I hope you love it as much as I did.

In Mama's Honor

by Ann Voskamp

"I never understood...until it was my turn.

My turn to lumber...then labor...then linger over the breathtaking holiness of a new human being...

My turn to try to figure out what to serve before famished tummies for the 8,037th time...with a smile, creativity, and a sense of humor.

My turn to rub a bumped head, answer the phone, grab the pot of boiling-over-potatoes, and run with the "have-to-go-now" toddler to the bathroom...all simultaneously and effortlessly, of course...cause that's simply what the job requires.

My turn to figure out how to seamlessly pull off a birthday party production to rival an unforgettable Broadway musical...so somebody knows how loved they really are.

My turn to shape little people, mold malleable hearts, train up future men and women.....my turn to feel the responsibility...and profound privilege...of being a people-maker.

I didn't get it. And you didn't try to make me understand.

But now I do.

I understand the heart howls before our Lord, humbly asking for grace and mercy in a mama's oh-so-many-hours of need.

I understand weariness...despair......joy.....love.....LIFE......in ways your words could never have explained, but walking in your shoes has made so obvious.

I understand you....now. At least much more of who you are.

My Mama.

Happy Mother's Day....Seems so trite for a life poured out, a love so bestowed, a legacy inherited.

I simply rise up and declare you blessed."

Mama and me. Her first year as a Mother'

On this Mother's Day I would just like to say to my Mama... I love you and now that it is my turn... Oh how I now understand... I understand you so much more. 

 I rise up and declare you blessed!!!

 Happy Mother's Day.

Becoming REAL...

 “What is REAL?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day... "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When [someone] loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.

"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand... once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit or How Toys Become Real


This passage came to my mind the other day... When my son made an announcement that he did not want Hippo (his stuffed animal that he had slept with since he was 4 months old) in his room any longer. A few years earlier Hippo had been stuck on one of his bookshelves, now apparently Hippo was being banished from the room entirely, but as you can tell by the pictures...Hippo has been loved!!! 

Hippo in 2000 before all the love

Hippo in 2012 after years of love

Becoming Real... it does come with a cost. I think it is just life. We get hurt and people let us down. We let people down... I have been there. I have been the one who was hurt and broken, and I have done my fair share of doing the hurting and breaking...

I don't know about you, but when I feel as if I have been "broken," I retreat... back to the safety of the toy shelf, the one that is waaaay... up high. I have "sharp edges and need to be carefully kept," and  I do not want anyone to  come too close for fear that I may be "broken" again.


Then I remember... Becoming REAL comes with a cost. Doesn't everything of  value? Am I going to be hurt at times? Probably so. Am I going to hurt those I love at times? Probably so, but in those moments I pray that I will remember the value of the relationship and extend forgiveness and be forgiven.  I want to live this life becoming REAL... In the end I may have  "most of my hair loved off and loose and shabby joints" but I would so prefer that than be in pristine condition because I sat way up high on the top shelf out of reach of REAL life,  REAL friendships, and REAL relationships...

At the end of life I pray that I am like  Hippo...I may be  missing my tail, the majority of  my stuffing gone, and stitched up in many places... but I will  know that I became REAL and was loved and REALLY loved back...

P.S.
My little man may be ready to let Hippo go... He even suggested I give him to Good Will.  (As if!!! I am sure that no one would look at Hippo in Good Will and know his true value.) But don't you worry....this momma is not ready to let Hippo go.  Hippo is packed up safely because I do know his value....☺


Do Not Lose Focus

I could feel it - I was getting overwhelmed.  I was thinking about things that I have no control over... trying to control them, trying to fix them.  Fear, uncertainty and panic were setting in.  I was losing focus! Have you ever had one of those days, weeks, months, or even years???

It reminded me of another time I lost focus. I was in  labor with my first born. I had been in labor for approximately 9 hours.  Now, I want you to know that we had passed the class, and I had read a gazillion books and  had decided I was going to do this the natural way... NO pain medicine or epidural for me. I was ready.☺  Everything was going smoothly until the 9th hour.  I began to lose my focus... I could not control this pain - I refused to stop my deep  breathing, the breathing technique I had learned in the class.  Even though the nurse told me  I could stop to rest,  I refused to quit breathing  for fear that if I stopped I would forget how to breathe. ☺ I can remember moving my head rapidly from side to side on my pillow, not focused on anything except the pain and my thoughts. I was convinced that I would not make it.

Isn't it  funny how irrational we can get when we lose focus...The fact is... many women had survived labor before me and there would be many after me, yet I just knew I was going to die.

I began to hyperventilate, and was now having to breathe into a paper bag... SERIOUSLY!!  A paper bag!!   I remember my sweet husband saying my name over and over  demanding that I look at his eyes and FOCUS... Once I did, the panic in me subsided and my breathing returned to normal. I started to feel a sense of hope and a renewed thought that maybe I would survive this, but in order to maintain focus and survive,  I could not lose sight of  him. 

This memory of labor came to me the other day, when I was filled with thoughts of uncertainty and fear.  Things were going on around me that were not in my control.  My thoughts were becoming irrational. I was thinking  about the "what ifs" of life.  I am sure you know the "what ifs"  What if this happens, what if I can't fix it, what if, what if,  what if... The funny thing is most of what ifs never happen, they just preoccupy our minds and torment us...  Then it was as  if my heavenly father whispered to my heart.... " Lisa, Where is your help, where are your eyes focused?"  One of my favorite scriptures that I have hidden in my heart came out of my mouth....

Psalms 121:1-2

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
² My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

My eyes are lifted up,  my help comes from the Lord... I need to remind myself of this often and every day.  Keep my eyes up!! It is when my eyes are up, that I am focused on the truth... The truth that does not change.  Just as I could not lose sight of my sweet husband that day during labor  I know that in order to maintain focus I can not lose sight of HIM~

 the one who "will not allow my foot to be moved, the one who keeps me and does not slumber, the one who will preserve my going out and my coming in all the days of my life" Psalms 121: 3 and 8

Are you like me sometimes?  Losing your focus? Are your eyes focused on everything except where they should be....  Remind yourself today and everyday... "lift up my eyes... that is where my help comes from"

EyesUp, Eyes Up... 

 

 

 

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